Ruth's Real Life

Life is Urgent Finding Solid Ground  I’ve seen the world From upside-down And heaven is on The ground. The view, from flat on the tar in the middle of a busy intersection, is terrifying. Pinned under my red and white scooter after an encounter with a delivery van, time changed shape. I watched as taxis, cars and trucks rushed through the intersection and all I could think in that strange moment was: Life is urgent. Life is unexpectedly urgent. At 64 and being knocked off your bike, life is urgent. When you’re confronted by an irritable elephant, bearing down on you, life becomes urgent. Life is urgent as you read this.  I feel like I have been knocked down again. This time, it’s not a van carrying dog food that’s flattened me, or a trumpeting elephant, but the silent and stealthy COVID-19. Recently, I was asked to give a definition of resilience and for me, the best way to think about resilience is not how we’ve been knocked down, but how quickly we get up.

  This strange season Two things I can’t get used to – the different smells and the sky. I brace myself as I walk out of my door every morning. The air smells like hot, sweet petrol. Breathing is like biting off chunks of air. I asked XinXin this evening if the sky ever cleared. “Oh, yes, one day last year the sky was blue and there were even clouds in the sky.” The sun is a hazy patch in the smog as it rises in the morning and then is not seen again. I watch from the window in my room as the orange smudge marks another day in China. Behind is me the ironing board bed, already made. On the dresser, a green flask of tepid water and a pear that looks like a Harvest moon. On a good day, the tops of the buildings are visible. My eyes are constantly gritty, and my nose runs non-stop from the irritation. When I get home, I’m going to lie on the grass and feel the space under my tall African sky. The low, grey sky makes this a strangely closed, colourless place. There are no