Let Go

It's time to adventure again.


Last night, I dreamed I was lost on the Great Wall of China. I was climbing a never-ending stairway alongside which a magnificent river rushed into a dark green gorge. Even in my dream, I knew it wasn’t the Wall. I have climbed a section of the Great Wall and it was nothing like this.

In 2005 I undertook, what in my head, was a pilgrimage to China. I was in a state of flux in my life and when the opportunity to go presented itself, I didn't hesitate. I went on my own, knowing very little of what awaited me. One thing I was determined to do was to journal my experience and to try to extract a lesson from each week that I was there. I came away with my eight China lessons but after my return I understood that I had journeyed 26 000 kilometers to learn the power of just two words.

Let go.

And I did.

I let go of toxic opinions of myself. I was able to see myself in a more powerful way. I felt a newness of who I was and an unfolding of potential. I had climbed, with legs as shaky as noodles, a literal and figurative Wall.

Last night’s dream ended as many of my dreams do, with the panic of being lost. These last two weeks have been a time of reflection for me and finally the pieces are coming back into shape. It’s time to take a breath, to iron the wrinkles out my ‘I climbed The Wall T-shirt’ and to start adventuring again.

This morning, reading ‘Presence’ by Peter Senge and Joseph Jaworski, I came across a clarifying metaphor that closed the circle. The book speaks of a gate in Ancient Jerusalem called the Needle. This is a gate, so narrow, that camels would have to have their burdens removed before they could pass through it. (I always thought that Jesus was referring to a sewing needle, this makes more sense.) In the book, the gate is used as a metaphor for transition.

I am at the gate. My restlessness indicates a need for a creative transition. The gate is open but in order to pass through, I have to shed the four burdens of fear that I am carrying. I have identified them and it's time to look them in the eye.

As I write this, ‘The Swan’ from ‘Carnival of the Animals’ by Saint-SaÑ‘ns is playing. I long to flow with the grace of that beautiful swan. I suspect that my journey may be a little more ‘camelish’ but I’m in the carnival and ready to ride.

Let is permission. Go is action. I give myself permission to go.

Let go

Let go,
Let go.

Don’t be afraid.

If it works, it will be beautiful
If it doesn't the path is open
To another Way.

Do not swallow your heart,
Your veins are alive!
Let go!

Let it be
What it is,
If nothing comes back
Light has still been spilled into the Grey.

It’s the give not the get
That spins in let go.

Ruth Everson
(China 2005)

(Further back in my blog you will find a short story called ‘The Message’. It is based on my China adventure and is also about letting go.)

Comments

  1. Mandy Collins29 April 2013 at 03:31

    Thank you for sharing this, Ruth. You've inspired me today. I hope I get to this point soon. Very soon.

    ReplyDelete

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