Ruth's Real Life

I am the Captain of My Ship …of My Small Ship Snacking on a peanut butter ball and drinking coffee while cruising on a little flat-bottomed boat, the world was a distant reality. The lake was still, a new sun painted the landscape into a live Pierneef. In front of me, clouds skimmed the Waterberg Mountains, catching their slow reflections in the water. On the skeleton arm of a tree, long stranded in the lake, a cormorant curved a sharp beak to preen its feathers. As we puttered past a reed bed, a hippo, alarmed by our presence, surged to the surface. It was there and then gone in a moment, leaving us startled and laughing in delight. I imagined it, invisible beneath the surface, gliding on pointe across the muddy bottom of the lake and away from our intrusion.  I try to capture moments like these. Not just on camera but in the fabric of my soul. There was, however, a picture of me, standing at the front of the boat and laughing at the camera. I posted it on Fac...

Life is Urgent Finding Solid Ground  I’ve seen the world From upside-down And heaven is on The ground. The view, from flat on the tar in the middle of a busy intersection, is terrifying. Pinned under my red and white scooter after an encounter with a delivery van, time changed shape. I watched as taxis, cars and trucks rushed through the intersection and all I could think in that strange moment was: Life is urgent. Life is unexpectedly urgent. At 64 and being knocked off your bike, life is urgent. When you’re confronted by an irritable elephant, bearing down on you, life becomes urgent. Life is urgent as you read this.  I feel like I have been knocked down again. This time, it’s not a van carrying dog food that’s flattened me, or a trumpeting elephant, but the silent and stealthy COVID-19. Recently, I was asked to give a definition of resilience and for me, the best way to think about resilience is not how we’ve been knocked down, but how quickly we g...

A single sentence can change the shape of the world. This one changed mine.  It was an ordinary day on an ordinary afternoon, and I was sitting on an ordinary couch. A late winter sun was lengthening the shadows in the garden. It felt like winter and there were certainly shadows, but it may well have been summer. When you’re at the bottom of the black pit of depression, most days seem wintery. Oprah was doing one of her usual TV interviews and her voice was a soothing antidote to the loneliness of the day. She was talking to a young woman who had been through years of abuse and fought the dragons of her darkness. I was mostly lost in my own space but there was one sentence spoken by her that pierced my heart: ‘You should never have to fight to be loved.’ That one sentence was a turning point for me. It was a moment of clarity that allowed me to take a step forward and that is often the most difficult thing – the one step forward – the step that will take us away f...