Life is Urgent
Finding Solid Ground
I’ve seen the world
From upside-down
And heaven is on
The ground.
The view,
from flat on the tar in the middle of a busy intersection, is terrifying. Pinned
under my red and white scooter after an encounter with a delivery van, time
changed shape. I watched as taxis, cars and trucks rushed through the
intersection and all I could think in that strange moment was: Life is urgent.
Life is unexpectedly urgent. At 64 and being knocked off your bike, life is urgent. When you’re
confronted by an irritable elephant, bearing down on you, life becomes urgent. Life is urgent as you read this.
I feel like
I have been knocked down again. This time, it’s not a van carrying dog food
that’s flattened me, or a trumpeting elephant, but the silent and stealthy COVID-19.
Recently, I was asked to give a definition of resilience and for me, the best
way to think about resilience is not how we’ve been knocked down, but how
quickly we get up.
Getting up
is the first thing that we think of when we see someone in distress. I often
think of my scooter moment as an example of this. People soon came to my
assistance. The scooter was moved away, and two people tried to lift me by
putting their hands under my shoulders. It was a mistake. I found out later
that I had fractured my left shoulder in two places. Before we lift, we need to
assess the need. Our natural default is to act; the irony of COVID-19 is that our
best action is inaction. As the days turn into weeks, we will need to find
different ways to fill that need.
My hope
that this is an opportunity to practice kindness. Not only towards others, but
towards ourselves too. I had to get myself to my feet. I was given assistance,
but I was the only one who knew where the pain was. I was helped out of the
intersection. My bike, broken but still working, was wheeled to the side of the
road. Because I am stubborn, I insisted that I be allowed back on the bike. In
my mad head, I was bruised and in pain, but I was still functioning. I’m not
good at knowing when to ask for help. I’m not good at knowing or admitting my
own pain. I’m stubborn and fiercely independent, but it was time to be humble.
It’s an opportunity for all of us, perhaps, to admit our vulnerability. We are
not alone in this.
We've got to get back on the bike. |
Where is
the balance in our current situation? The world is in pain and we are part of
the world. We all have pain and only we know what that is. There is fear,
uncertainty, financial instability and many of us will experience anticipatory
grief. We feel that something, someone, will be lost and yet we are unable to
prepare for the possible shocks to come. How can we assert control over pain
and fear?
I couldn’t control
the van that hit me. I could control my response. I stood on the pavement and
spoke to the distraught driver. I assured him that I wouldn’t report him and
that he wouldn’t lose his job. I got off my bike and let a friend who had seen
my predicament take it away. Then I turned over control to another friend who
took me to casualty. It’s amazing how friends found me when I needed them. They
will find you too.
I’ve done a
course in Logotherapy, based on the work of Viktor Frankl. A short, but
profound read if you are on lockdown, is his seminal work: ‘Man’s Search for
Meaning’. He believes that the only power that we can exercise is the power of
choice. We cannot choose our circumstances, but we can choose our response. I
felt it as a blow to the chest when he spoke about the possibility of going to
the gas chamber – as a victor or as a victim.
How do we stop the charge? |
My choice
is to help online where I can, to stay in touch with friends and family, to be
ready to step up when the call comes. The words at the top of this piece were
written a few days after my accident. People are there when we need them. Do
them the honour of needing them. In the difficulty that lies ahead, Heaven is
on the ground. It’s the choices that we make and the way we show up for one
another in the smallest of ways. COVID-19 feels like an elephant raging towards
us but there are things that we can do to back away and mitigate the charge.
The world
is upside-down, but with faith, hope, love and purpose, we will find solid
ground. The need for kindness is urgent.
Comments
Post a Comment